Friday, August 15, 2008

welcome to my life - kicking and screaming


First off, lets get this straight....I do not like my name.

At the moment, it might as well be Lonnie Hate.

I didn't tell Ellie everything.

I didn't tell her about my Nana. How bad she got. How everything went wrong. And well, I'm at my Dad's now and Nana is in a nursing home which just might be the end of her and me too.

We really had a good thing going. And I didn't even know it. Just wish it could have turned out differently. And I knew things were getting worse, but I kept telling my Mom that things were fine when she'd call. I mean, I made sure she took her meds. It wasn't like she was streaking in some body's front yard.

But then the stroke happened. And well, things changed. And since I had no intention of ever going to live with my Mom's family in Dallas (somewhere around there, its Dallas to me.) I thought I could some how talk her into just letting me live by myself. I mean, what difference would it have really made? I've been taking care of Nana all this time and taking care of myself.

But oh no.......

I'm only sixteen.

Honestly, I didn't think it would happen. I mean, why? I don't even know these people and live like with in a five mile radius of my house. I just don't do the holidays with them. I just don't do anything much. I know. The lone wolf.

Really, me living at that house which definitely doesn't belong out in the sticks. Its kind of fancy. Too fancy. I was pretty scared too. Awkward as hell. Being there with them. I feel like this shadow, you know. I dunno. Its just freaking hard to get used too.

And there are about four of us with the name Lon Love. There's my biological Dad, L.J. There is an older brother I had no idea I even had, Lon who's a college dropout by the way and then me and Logan who is Lon Logan Love. Can you imagine being stuck with that name? Oh, and lets not forget little Lori who started first grade. All these L's around. Just kind of makes me sick to my stomach.

And to think there was a time I thought Ellie Love would have been a wonderful name. Yeah, where was my head. I'm really sick of all the Loves.

But, I have my own room. Its pretty small, but that's OK, cause I don't plan on staying here forever. Lon on the other hand, gotta wonder whats up with him. He flunked college. He claims to be a sheep sharer. Or he was this summer. The only blond in the sheep sharing bunch. But I get the feeling if he doesn't work his ass off, he could quite possibly be good for nothing. Not that I know anything. I don't learn a lot from these strangers.

I'm doing good to get my Dad to acknowledge I'm here. He's a busy man. And he doesn't talk much and if he does its all about Lon and what he's done and how he needs to stay out of trouble.
So yeah, that's how things are going for me now.

9 comments:

em gurl! said...

it's great you started a new blog:) this time in lonnie's view i can't wait to read more.

taffy. said...

it's good!
(i feel special)



i love reading stuff from other readers points of view!

UmassSlytherin said...

Awesome!!!! What a great job of putting forth his point of view!!!! I can't wait to hear more, well done, ellie!!!

p.s. I especially love it because it reminds me of one of my roommates at UMass: her name was "Heather Love." :)

Liz said...

I think it's great you starter a new blog! (Except for the fact that if I fall behind with reading. it'll take even longer to catch up.) x]


Keep it up!

autumn said...

oh great. i'm going to love this. i love lonnie love. lol. =]]

sydneydoll said...

family dynamics impact so much on everyone its scary.

n a t a l i e said...

Yes! I'm glad that you've started off with sort of a fresh start, because now I can finally know what's going on without having to go back and get caught up with everything that I already missed! Yay :)

There's actually a guy at my school named Robby Love, and everyone teases him saying that he should become a psychiatrist, because then he can be Dr. Love haha.

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