Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Bro. James and the sex talk

I think I've talked him in to it. Lon is going to help me with Homecoming.

I can't get him to take Sarah. He's coming along to be Stephanie's date. I know I'm the worst person ever. Possibly. I hope she won't mind. I really hope I don't get some kind of curse or hex or something from doing this. But I have to keep the peace.

He's mad if I do take Sarah. He's mad if I don't. This way, he'll know whats going on. Right?

Sarah is ok with it. Its just talking to Steph about it, you know.

God, this is worse than going to the dentist. I hate this.

I even went to church and prayed about it. Alone.

I thought I was alone, but the pastor showed up and well, he's afraid I'm in really bad trouble. Liked girl troubles. He's trying to save me from Sarah. Can it get any worse? We had a long talk about waiting to have sex.

He's kind of an old dude. He's all right if I don't have to talk to him much.

Jesus, it was the scariest conversation I've ever had in my life. With anyone on the subject. I don't think I'll have that talk with my Dad. My dad doesn't do that sort of talk. He hates being a dad. And for all I know he doesn't even know if he likes me. Probably doesn't.

I thought I was going to throw up with all this stuff about girls with Bro. James. Lets not leave out the part about not having sex with animals. What the hell? What kind of heathens does he takes us to be.?It was a real eye opener. I didn't even know you could do that. Not that I want to. It was a horrible cringing experience.

All I wanted to do was to pray about a few things. I'll just pray at home, next time.


Cate said...

Gosh, if I was Stephanie, I'd be pretty pissed off. He's right to be praying about this. LOL a talk with the pastor - that's hilarious. I'd hate to have that sort of conversation with ANYONE. Ew, why does the pastor talk about sex with animals? But I like it that he went to the CHURCH to pray.

Aurley said...

Pastor? Animal sex?
Only you could make these things somehow work in the overall plot. With all this anticipation, Im excited to see what happens with Stepanie. :]
And sorry I was kinda MIA for a week. I was sick and had school and student council and auditions and field hockey. You know how it is. Anyway, Thanks for the comment on Abelia Mabel!

UmassSlytherin said...

LMAO!!!!! oh, this is priceless! You continue to suprise me and impress me and make me smile with your wonderful writing!

Well done! I absolutely love the tone of these updates: so real, so excellent!

Cate said...

I'm curious too how Stephanie will react. If she is the stoic kind of person or the jealous, angry, revenge type.

Sydney Speel said...

sex with animals?!


autumn said...

lol @ lonnie. he's really taking "it" seriously, about the girls. hehe.