I just have to get over this. I have.
The things she does to me. Some of it emotional. So emotional which is just as powerful as the physical stuff.
Was she thinking of someone from a movie or a book when she was with me last night? We were on her couch to and ..and I don't know how it went that far... but it did and, yeah, the couch will never be the same again and when I saw that her dog slept right where I was.
Is it me? Just the black lab, Rufus....or is it Sarah?
Perplexed. Complexed. Unbelievably unnerving and yet it comes down to. ..this. Do I want it? Yeah, I want it? Well, this time, anyway.
It was like my brain and that other thing just were not in sync. Its not like I was all this going through the motions, but when she takes me down like that.... And she's on me, wanting me, pulling me, tugging me, letting me see, letting me feel. Its like who in the hell is this?
And I tell myself... I don't care. I don't want to care. It makes me happy. It makes me sad. And I don't even know if it was any good. You know, for her. I don't dare ask. I don't know how. And she hasn't said nor even offered to ask about me because I'm the guy. I am the guy.
Then we watched SNL.