Friday, December 19, 2008

its in the air

We're trying to beat the bad weather, but I'm not sure we can. More snow coming in Nebraska tomorrow and well, you don't want the roads to go bad in Texas because they don't know what to do. Its just a slip and slide world. Ben says its no better in Oklahoma so we might not be in Dallas long. I'm really OK with that. I'm one sleepy dog, and I've been sleeping a lot. Dreaming of a certain someone.

I gave Steph one of my old hats. And she says its her favorite gift ever. I got her lip balm and yeah, that might be my favorite gift this Christmas too. Cause I know her lips were on it.

OK, do I really want to tell you what happened? Do you really want to know?


God, I wish this hadn't happen, but then its know you're glad it did. And now I have to go and man, this has got to be hurt'n me a whole lot worse than Steph. Its got to, man.

It was only a kiss. A simple little kiss. OK, it kind of grew and um, but still just a kiss.

I so wish she was with me, right now. I mean, not that I'd be wanting to kiss right now. OK, I probably would which I know. I know. Stop. Just stop thinking about it. OK. This is different. Totally different than the whole Sarah thing. It just is. I can't compare Steph to Sarah. I just shouldn't. Because she is sweet and kind and generous and just Steph. You know, like it would be perfect having her on this trip. It just would because she's somebody I could talk to for hours. And she doesn't make it difficult. I feel really comfortable around her. Why didn't I get that before? You know? And I know she's not going to compare me to somebody else.

So now we are almost to my Mom's. Yeah, I'm hoping she doesn't load us down with a bunch of crap to take cause we don't have room for that. I guess I'm OK about seeing Mom's kids. OK, so yeah, I know I'm supposed to be a half-brother and all, but I don't feel like it. Maybe I could get used to it...if I tired. Like with Lon. But I'm not sure I want to. I mean, its not like I'm mean about it, you know. Its like, what's the point. They don't know me. I don't know them. Hey, I don't even really know my Mom. Of course, Nana blames that all on her husband. But I'll get through this somehow and ...and I don't want to think about it because I just wish Steph was here. Wish I'd stayed home, but then if I had, would she have kissed me?


Cait said...

Love is in the air...I see.

taffy. said...

it's so damn warm in texas!

steph is perfect.

Cate said...

Why do they always say that spring is the season of love? Christmas time definitely is.
Oookaaayyy a kiss... I like that. I like Steph better than Sarah. I feel guilty about that, but it's the way it is. I'm so happy for Lonnie. Sometimes it has got to happen this way. Of course it's an unconvenient moment, with Sarah having been in hospital and everything, but then if she wasn't in hospital, it probably wouldn't have happened... Some things just are meant to be, and some others aren't...

dapper kid said...

I always think Christmas time and summer are the seasons for love! And I wish we were having snow!!

Ivy said... the lonnie. thats the way it is..