Honestly, I didn't think I'd miss her so much. But I feel like I've got the wind knocked out of me. Ellie, off at her parents.
And this job. I dunno. I guess its all right. You know, for now. We'll see. The Manager seems OK. And you know, everybody seems to be from around here, but me. So yeah, definitely feel like the outsider. Don't even care if I get to know these guys.
I just, you know, think about Ellie. I mean, I'm not worried she's gonna hook up with some old flame. I hope she finds her friend she's worried about.
Its just I miss how her skin feels on mine. Like when I hold her hand and I see her wrist. Its just like, totally amazing. I just have to touch her wrist. I love her lips too. Her chin. Even her elbows..and the obvious places.
When am I going to see her again?
This is so crazy. These feelings I have for her. I mean, I haven't been away from her, until now. I can't imagine how I would have felt if I'd just gone home, you know after the beach and everything. I mean, it was there I knew I wanted to be with her. Anywhere.
Man, I'm starting to fidget. I see my cell. I can't wait to call. I just want to hear her voice. I want to know if she's all right.
I wonder if she thinks I'm over the top. You know, am I too much? Am I stifling her? Does she feel OK, around me?
I think we're OK. I think so. She's been sleeping lately. I give her a chance to go to sleep before I do. I kind of hit her in the head once. It wasn't on purpose. I dreamed I was playing basketball, and I dunk the ball in and I actually came right down on Ellie. Definitely, not sexy. I mean, I didn't hurt her.
Then there was that time I was laughing. I don't know why I do things like that, while I'm asleep. I just do. I don't know if I can sleep without her being there. Its just not natural.
It just feels natural with Ellie. It just does.
I'm going to try to get some sleep now. I'm gonna try.