Tuesday, August 18, 2009

love and other attention disorders

I don't think I'd ever worry Ellie quite like that. You know, the Olivia & Roger thing. I mean, I could fly off the handle. I used too. Maybe I grew out of it. Maybe I'm seeing what it does to people I love, you know. Now anyway.

Sure, I think I was one of those types who thought even bad attention was good. I'd go out of my way to get some kind of attention. Usually, that meant fighting or something. Man, I could work myself up and everyone else too. Yeah, I'd smile about it. Get all hostile. God, I was terrible.

I'm not that person, anymore. I won't say it was Ellie who changed me. I'd changed long before I met her. It wasn't something that happened over night. I guess I got sick of the way I went about doing things. I was in the same old rut. Finding myself just wanting to get in a fight. Yeah, I scared Lonnie a couple of times.

I think it takes a lifetime to get to know yourself. Think how hard it is then to get to know somebody you're in love with.

I try not to think of myself falling in love with Ellie. I think.. is it possible..this love. You know, going forward. Finding strength in each other. And well, maybe not laughing all the way, but feeling pretty good about where we are and how its going to be. Together. & yeah, I'd say I love Ellie.

Olivia's problem with Roger could be worse. He could be a liar. He could be cheating. He just got drunk and hit somebody because he's in love with Olivia.


Ivyoaks said...

I loved the title to this one.

Adela said...

great story! =)


em said...

Awwwww that is so sweet that he loves her.

kelsey said...

love all the love thats going on :) nice job



Winnie said...

Aw this was really sweet.

Sydney said...

i like that the endig line and the title run together. also, this is very sweet :)