Sunday, December 12, 2010

baby its cold outside

Well...

I'm still finding my way.

Everything is so new and dazzling with baby Zoe. Really, I shouldn't complain. Although, there seems to be never enough hours in the day for sleep.

I could get gushy on you and sound intoxicated with all this baby love. Truly, she is a living and breathing miracle. I had no idea I could love anything quite like this.

Yes, I love Charlie. I adore him. But Zoe. I dunno. She's well. Here in my arms. And its incredible, yet so intense and unnerving too. Like, what if something happens? Will I ever love her enough? Will I be a good mother? So many questions.

I am so careful with her. She's so tiny. I'm happy she gets stronger everyday. These little moments mean so much to me. I'm so glad to have this time with her. Even if she keeps me up at night.

But the weather has been brutal this weekend. I don't feel like having company. All I want to do is be with my little one, Charlie and of course, Lon. We do have company coming. I have no idea how we will fit my brother and his daughter in her. Along with Lon's six year old daughter Hannah. It'll be a houseful. Seriously, I don't care how messy it gets. As long as Zoe is OK.

OH, and Lon got the oven working.

-Ellie

1 comment:

autumn said...

I believe she's going to be a good mother. :)