Sunday, July 3, 2011

almost the 4th

God, I am so tired. Its kind of hard to enjoy these holidays.

When I was was all..what's the big deal? Now its like I have to make an effort to show the kids a good time.

Thank God, we've got friends who we can share this with. So we are going to a cook out. Except not at our place. Ellie says she's done enough in the kitchen this week, making jam. And I've been hinting how we should give this and that jam too. Then she goes and says..she'll have to make more. So I keep reminding her..but there are no more berries..not enough.

So yeah, I'm good and bad.

While Charlie is just bad Charlie these days. Can't go a day with Hannah not fussing about something with him. I keep thinking she'll wake me up in the middle of the night and tell me she's had enough. That she wants to go home. But she hasn't yet. She seems to have invested most of her summer with Shelby down the street and the boy across the way. I have a feeling they have their own 90210 going on that we will never quite get the jest of.

Ellie wants me to talk to Charlie. I think we've talked tell I'm blue in the face about his behavior. Of course, Ellie goes a step further..about how do you expect to get a job one day if you talk like that. Granted, I don't get as many fowl words from his vocabulary as much as Ellie and Hannah do. According to Hannah..BRAIN CRAMPS is a bad word. And SHUT UP is on the list too. Yes, I can see why he says GOD DAMNIT a lot. I do too. There are worse things to say. Not like I'm saying it at every turn. But you know, I'm working on my truck, a wrench gets in the way the wrong way..and it happens.

We are still not sure how he came up with UCK U. But who knows, he could have heard Hannah's friend say it. Maybe even Shelby or somebody in her family.

I know Charlie has his issues. They play out. Then he's fine. He's ALL BOY. According to my Mom, my worst tantrums were always in Wal-Mart. Hard to believe she ever shopped there because she's definitely the upscale type, but I guess she went there with me..because no one would know her. Usually, I had tangents over Ninja Turtles. I would threaten to run away, or call her the worst mother in the world. And I liked to kick her in my little cowboy boots that she hated my father so much..who would send the boots to us..because..he didn't want me to forget I was in Texas and not a Dallas city boy.

We've been through these fits before with Charlie. Early on, he was going to butt his head on the wall when he didn't get his way. Soon enough, he was getting a pillow to soften the blow. But we can't spend all our time on him when the baby is just getting around. She doesn't need to be influenced by this. And I know Charlie loves the baby. He's a wonderful big brother to Zoe. Most of the time.


Tuesday, June 28, 2011

berry picking time


I've made one pie already from the raspberries and blackberries in the back yard. We have a great season for berries. Unfortunately, a horrid time with mosquitoes too, due to the flooding on the Missouri river too.

Brian Pope tumblr

Its been stormy, humid and some un-easy times, lately.

I have to usually wait until the kids are in bed before we go and pick berries. The days are long. On so many levels. Having to put up with Charlie, who is all boy. I'm beginning to think I know why Lonnie let Charlie go on that pony. I'm pretty sure Charlie put up such a fuss that Lonnie gave in. And I feel really horrible accusing him, like I did, that he didn't love Charlie enough.

Charlie is pretty honary (as they call it). Just plain stubborn. He has such fits. And he's so strong. We try to talk it through, all the time. He pouts. He throws things. He hits. But not all the time. At least no biting. (He bit me really bad last fall when he thought he was a werewolf) Just when you think you have it nipped in the bud, he right back to doing something he did months ago. Yet he can be so loving. He loves Hannah so much who he's re-named LeeLee since he says Hannah's name as if he's referring to her butt.

So yes, summer is taking a toll on me. I just hope I can live through this with him.

But we are a little worried about the nuclear plant up stream. We have another one down stream that had shut down completely on the Missouri river. Hopefully, we are safe.

Steve Andel tumblr

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

lazy days of summer

Its so damn humid. What a summer we are having. The creeks are swelling just as much as the river. People are sandbagging for the worse. Of course, when we were back in Texas it was pretty dry.

I think we have all survived Charlie's little incident now. His arm is practically heeled. And it hasn't slowed him down, one bit.

Of course, I'm not saying he plays well with others. And I can see when he gets on Hannah's nerves, sometimes. She doesn't like putting up with him. And he pouts about in the yard, but he's at least behaving himself. Its just, he really thinks he's so grown up sometime, then he can turn around and do this little stomp. See, Charlie likes to curse.

Ellie, thinks he got it from me. But seriously, I don't do that. Not anymore. Sometimes, I have to wonder if its just this natural occurrence in boys. He just picks up on certain words. I have to wonder if he could care
less of the meaning of them. Just the sound of them.

Lets see. He loves the word HORNY. And as much as we tell him to quit saying the word, he wants to say it more.

Then I heard him other day say.."Aw Fuck!" I did not say that to him. I swear it wasn't me. And he's saying this out on the driveway, barefooted. Staring at his feet. I'm wondering if he thinks 'fuck' has to do with feet.

Ellie was so funny. The way she put her fists on her waist walked over to him as if she wash his mouth out with soap, any second. "What did you say?" He sulked a little and went off to play with some wooden blocks my Dad gave him. He doesn't actually play with them. Charlie throws them. After Ellie went to check on Chloe in her stroller, he starts throwing them.

Then I have to get after him. "Why are you doing that?" Naturally, he doesn't have an answer for me. Its all this angst. He's having to be on this little island, far away from Hannah, while she's off with Shelby and some kid across the street. He just can't stand it. So he acts like he going to do something. Like play with his truck or something. But no, he goes back to throwing those blocks as hard as he can. Next thing I know, he's screaming like somebody ran over him. He hit his big toe with one of those blocks. And I know it doesn't look good. That toenail is showing something ugly underneath it.

So guess who has to get him to the emergency room. He's crying so bad. And I have to take it. I'm in pain too, just listening to him. Tears dripping down his face. Then he goes crazy again, when he sees we are in the emergency room. He fought me the whole way there.

I was pretty angry. But I just hold on to him.

Of course, they could have pricked the toenail to let out the blood, but I think the practitioner was afraid too. He got antibiotics, instead. I could just see a needle stuck in Charlie's toe. Lord knows, how he would have reacted.

Four hours later we are back home. I couldn't wait to go to bed. That took a lot out of me. But no, he wanted to sit in my lap. We both went to sleep watching Sponge Bob.

You know, I think Ellie and I seriously need a weekend away from the kids. I was so hoping that would happen while we were in Texas. I know Lonnie thinks I'm still mad at him about what happened to Charlie's arm when he fell off the pony. I should call him, let him know how Charlie is doing. Maybe Charlie is just accident proned.